


Bond

by Bookkbaby



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Soul Bond, Soulsex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-01-30
Packaged: 2017-11-27 12:54:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/662225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookkbaby/pseuds/Bookkbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is injured, so Dean offers Cas some of his soul's energy. Things don't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bond

“Cas, damn it, just do it already,” Dean said, staring down at Castiel with equal parts worry and anger in his gaze. Cas was lying on the hunter’s bed in the motel, too drained to do more than lift his head and speak.

“I’ll be fine,” Cas said. “In a few days-“

“We don’t  _have_  ‘a few days’,” Dean pointed out. His eyes flicked to the still-healing stab wound in Castiel’s side. “We can’t let the angels catch up again and it won’t take long before they realize they lost a couple scouts.” Dean scooted closer to Cas with a determined look on his face. “Unless you’ve got a better idea.”

“Dean…” Cas said, eyebrows knitted together. “You don’t understand what it is you’re offering.”

 

“I understand enough,” Dean said firmly. Cas sighed and closed his eyes.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want what Dean was demanding he take. That was the problem; he wanted it too much. He’d touched Dean’s soul exactly once, but that was back before its beauty had meant anything to him. If he touched it again, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to let go.

But Dean was right. Making contact with a human soul was Castiel’s only option for getting back to ‘full battery power’. He would simply have to exercise restraint, but that was nothing new: every moment he spent around Dean was a temptation.

“It will hurt,” Cas warned Dean as he slowly lifted his hand. His am shook with the effort and he could feel a small noise of frustration building in the back of his throat. Then Dean grabbed his wrist and guided it the rest of the way, stopping just short of contact with the hunter’s chest.

“You’re not…” Dean said, like he had just thought of something that gave him pause. “This won’t let you read my mind, right?”

“If you’re reluctant…” Cas said, trying to pull his hand back. Dean tightened his grip and in the state Cas was in, weaker than a newborn foal, he couldn’t break free.

“I’m not. I just need to know,” Dean said. There was a wariness to his voice that hadn’t been there a minute ago.

“No,” Cas said. In truth, it would be possible to gain access to Dean’s most closely-guarded secrets, but Cas could refrain. He would be careful to keep his touch light.

Dean nodded slowly and brought Castiel’s hand to rest against his chest. Cas wanted to pause again, to revel in the feel of body-warmed cloth over smooth skin and a strong heartbeat, but this was a Temptation. He needed to resist the urge to slide his hand over the body he had recreated, resist the urge to grab fistfuls of Dean’s shirt and pull him down-

“Cas?”

Cas shook his head, angry with himself and forcing down the longing that welled within him.

“Brace yourself,” he said. Dean nodded, solemn but determined, and Cas took a deep breath. He pushed his hand more firmly against Dean’s chest and allowed some of his true self to reach through his palm. His Grace began seeping into Dean’s skin, little tendrils like fingers reaching for his soul and then, Cas slowly began to push his hand. This was the painful part, when the human soul began to feel a foreign presence and gripped everything inside the body tightly, afraid to be torn away. Any moment now.

Dean’s brow was furrowed, body tense, but he didn’t seem to be in any pain. Then again, the first traces of Castiel’s Grace were just beginning to brush the outside of his soul, but any second now, the touch would be recognized and the spirit would react.

Cas felt Dean’s soul begin to become aware and he grimly pressed on, hoping to end the process quickly. Any second now, Dean’s soul was going to pull away like a cornered, injured wolf, snarling and growling-

But it didn’t. Cas stared up at Dean in confusion as Dean frowned and glanced at the hand in his chest, now buried up to the wrist.

“Isn’t this supposed to hu-” Dean started, but just then the first sips of power were sinking down into Castiel’s Grace and Dean’s soul became fully conscious of the intrusion. Instead of pulling away, like Castiel had expected, it  _opened_.

Dean’s words ended in a choked gasp as his soul spread itself for Cas, reaching eagerly for the wisps of Grace and dragging them closer. Cas felt himself being pulled in deeper and deeper as Dean’s soul greedily demanded  _more_. Instead of the gentle tendrils he had wanted to use to siphon off energy, entire pieces of Castiel’s being were sinking inside Dean until there was nothing but  _Dean_ surrounding him, warm and inviting and  _glorious_.

“Cas, what’s happening?” Dean gasped, bent double over Castiel’s body. Dean’s face was flushed, eyes wide and dark, lips parted.

“I… I-” Cas tried to answer, but he couldn’t. Dean was flooding into him and he was flooding into Dean, his Grace hungrily demanding everything he had been denying himself. He couldn’t stop it, not when Dean’s soul was so sweetly enfolding him and pulling him in as if trying to make one being out of two.

This was union, no doubt about that. Cas gasped as the realization washed over him, Grace shivering as Dean’s soul moved against it. Raw energy was overwhelming their connection, strengthening Castiel’s Grace until he could reach further, deeper, insinuating fingers of Grace into every part of Dean.

Dean was making choked little noises in the back of his throat, teeth nearly biting through his bottom lip as something that was most certainly not pain tore through him.

Cas knew he had to stop it. This was wrong in the worst ways, no matter how loudly Dean’s soul was screaming its consent. He growled, furious and sick with himself as he tried to wrest control back from his instincts. Waves of loss and longing shot through him as he tried to withdraw his Grace.

Dean’s soul clamped down on him in protest, anchoring more firmly to the parts of Castiel it could reach. Cas was trapped, self-control teetering. He couldn’t move, not without the risk of tearing off the hooks Dean’s soul was using to keep him near.

“Dean… you have to let go,” Cas managed to say, a slight undercurrent of his true voice coming through. Far from being hurt by it, Dean shuddered visibly, chest heaving with every breath.

“What the hell is going on?” Dean asked hoarsely. Dean’s soul was dragging Cas back in, bolstered by the bits of Grace it had captured and using those strands to tug at the rest. Cas was back at full power, but he was weak in this and unwilling to tear large holes in Dean’s soul to free himself. Dean’s energy was swarming along their connection, engulfing Cas once more and the angel was helpless. Fighting back would only hurt them both and there would be no long-lasting effects from this; he would make sure of it.

With that, he shuddered and surrendered, opening up to welcome in Dean’s insistent prodding. Dean’s soul immediately took the invitation and dove deep, right into the very heart of Castiel. It slid thick fingers through his Grace, caressing him, and Castiel was lost.

He let his own Grace flow freely and Dean’s soul sang as Cas’s Grace curled around it. They melted together in a frenzy, desperate for perfect union and already so close Cas and Dean could both feel it, though Dean had no idea what it meant.

Dean choked out a gasp as their union swelled between them, soul and Grace entwined perfectly and turning the air in the room thick and electric. Cas’s Grace was screaming its completion for the first time, a sound so loud it was threatening to spill out Castiel’s throat.

When Dean gave a full-body shudder as his soul suddenly swelled with pure light, Cas  _did_  scream.

All the glass in the room shattered, from the lightbulbs in the lamps to the picture frames on the wall. Dean was slumped over Castiel, breathing heavily and eyes wide and his soul came back to rest completely in his body once more. Castiel’s Grace was calming down as well. A thin line connected the two, the beginnings of a bond Castiel would need to sever. His Grace cried out in mourning at the thought, but he shook himself.

“Ok, what the FUCK was that?” Dean demanded, eyes wide. He pushed himself up to sitting position, glancing down briefly in disgust at the wet stain spreading along the front of his jeans. Castiel, now perfectly recovered and brimming with power, sat up as well. He grimaced at the unfamiliar mess inside his pants.

“That was union,” Cas said, trying to keep his voice even. He cleared away the wetness in his pants and then hesitantly did the same for Dean, uncertain if his help would be appreciated. Dean shifted a little but didn’t otherwise react.

“‘Union’?”

“It’s what we call it when the Grace of two angels comes together and forms a bond,” Cas said. He stared Dean straight in the eyes. “The last time union was performed with a human was in the time of the nephilim.”

“Those half-angel, half-human giant things?” Dean asked slowly. Cas nodded. Dean looked stunned. “Let me get this straight.” He pointed at himself. “My soul-” He pointed at Castiel. “And your Grace-” He motioned back and forth between them. “Just had sex. And bonded.”

“Essentially, yes.”

Dean turned away and ran a palm over his face. He chuckled humorlessly to himself.

“‘Straight’,” he muttered, shaking his head. Cas frowned.

“Dean?”

“What, you didn’t think to warn me that possible side effects include soulfucking?” Dean snapped, turning to Cas. Though his words were sharp and his tone was an admirable imitation of angry, there was a faint waver in his voice that Cas couldn’t identify.

“I wasn’t aware that it was possible,” Cas said. Dean snorted.

“Yeah, it’s not like half-angel babies were ever a  _problem_ -“

“Human souls aren’t built for union,” Cas said flatly. “Souls retreat from unfamiliar things touching them. Unions between angels and humans were not  _accidents,_ Dean. They were difficult and sometimes impossible to achieve.”

“What, so you and I just got supremely unlucky?” Dean asked. Cas dropped his gaze, stung but trying not to show it.

“If you choose to see it that way,” he managed to say. He glanced around the room, on all the broken glass and the shattered TV. Thankfully the windows hadn’t broken, but they’d cracked, and it wouldn’t be long until someone came to investigate. If they were lucky, it would be other humans. If they were not… then the angels were closer behind the scouts than Cas had thought. “We should go.”

“Cas-“

“Is Sam still gathering supplies?” Cas asked, looking back at Dean. Dean’s expression was odd, verging on epiphany, and Castiel carefully wiped all traces of emotion from his face.

“Yeah, he is,” Dean said. “What did you mean by ‘if we choose’-“

“I’ll draw the angels away and meet up with you two once I’ve lost them. You should take Sam and go.” He lifted his hand. His Grace recoiled, wrapping around the fledgling bond to protect it. Dean frowned, shifting like he could feel the restless pull. “I need to touch your soul again and destroy the bond.”

He pressed his hand to Dean’s chest and reached inside with his Grace. He was better prepared this time, and so when Dean’s soul rejoiced in his touch, when it wrapped softly around him and welcomed him to come closer, he managed to resist the urge to just bury himself inside Dean with nothing more than a wave of bitter longing. He wrapped his self-control tightly around his Grace and followed the pull to the bond.

Dean’s soul swirled proudly around the thin thread as if to say ‘see? I’m keeping it safe’. The bond pulsed gently and swelled beneath the careful but unconscious attentions of Dean’s soul. If Cas left it, it would grow, a sprout planted in the most nurturing soil.

Unhappy but resigned, Cas reached for it. He drew a tendril of Grace along the bond, unable to help himself, and Dean shivered in front of him.

“This will hurt,” Cas said. Dean nodded.

“Do it.”

Cas wrapped his Grace around the bond and began to pull. It took no more than a nanosecond for Dean’s soul to realize what was happening and it screamed in fury.

Dean screamed too, but not in anger. He doubled over, teeth gritted and hands white-knuckling on his lap. He was shaking, torn between the desire to wrench himself away and the need to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Cas tried to speed up the process, but Dean’s soul wasn’t only attacking Dean’s body, it was attacking Castiel as well. The soul’s most potent weapons were pure emotion, everything buried deep in Dean’s soul that Cas had promised not to look at. Everything was marshalling for war, pulling the bond’s anchor deeper into Dean and creating a wall between it and the angel trying to yank it free.

“Don’t fight me, Dean,” Cas growled, grimly pressing on through barricades of self-loathing and doubt. Their weight was crushing, battering against Cas’s defenses relentlessly.

“I’m not!” Dean snapped. His hand flew out to clamp around Castiel’s shoulder, squeezing in a way that would have been unbearably painful if Cas had been human. “Hurry the fuck up!”

“I’m  _trying_ ,” Cas said. He gathered his strength and surged forward. Dean let out a strangled yell.

Here there was hurt and loss and fear, all snarling and snapping like wounded creatures as Castiel’s Grace pushed past them. They grabbed onto him, sinking their fangs deep in the fingers of Grace, trying to drag him back. Cas felt the tears and while it hurt, he could bear it. He had no choice.

There was a pervading sense of worthlessness, thick as sewage. Cas dove straight through it, sensing he was close to where Dean’s soul had taken the bond. It choked him, slowing him down as Dean shook in his hold.

Dean’s more violent emotions were behind him, digging their claws in and trying to drag him away. Cas could feel his dive slowing, Grace weighed down, but he strained and reached and then all at once, he broke through the final barricade and all of the pain and hurt was forgotten.

Dean’s love and protectiveness danced around him, clutching tightly to the bond and deepening the anchor. This was longing, this was desire; it was an entirely different flavor than the lust he wore so easily on the surface of his thoughts. This was  _want_  for something more than sex, the place Dean hid his apple-pie fantasies and thoughts of raising children. This was where Dean kept his love for Sam.

This was Dean’s core, and  _this_  was what the bond was rooted in. Cas stilled, transfixed as he felt Dean’s love gather more strongly around the bond, holding it away from Castiel in obvious fear that Cas would destroy it as he intended.

Dean loved him. Dean was  _in love_  with him.

Cas withdrew carefully, feeling Dean’s soul calm as it realized that Castiel wasn’t trying to take anything. Dean’s grip relaxed on Cas’s shoulder, hand falling when Cas finally pulled out completely.

“Did you get it?” Dean asked, breathing heavily. Cas stared at him. Dean’s face went wary and he leaned back a bit. “What?”

“You’re in love with me,” Cas said. Dean’s expression flashed between panic, hurt, and sorrow for a split second before Dean got control of himself and channeled his emotions the same way he always had; into anger.

“I thought you said you couldn’t read my mind,” Dean snapped, shoulders tense. He snorted bitterly. “What, just couldn’t help taking a peek after sampling the goods? Haven’t you fucked me over enough for one day?”

“I didn’t go searching for your emotions. They came to me. I had no choice,” Cas said. Dean shook his head, his lips in a thin line.

“Just go. Get out,” Dean said shortly.

“I’m not done-” Cas started, irritated.

“Maybe I am, Cas!” Dean said, finally looking at him. Their eyes locked for a moment and then Dean looked away again. “We’re going to forget this ever happened, all right?”

“Dean-“

“All right?”

Cas scowled, patience finally wearing thin.

“No,” he said. When Dean turned to object, Cas moved in. He gently slid a hand over Dean’s cheek to hold him in place and leaned in to press his lips against Dean’s. Dean’s mouth responded automatically and for a moment, it was the greatest pleasure of the flesh Cas had consciously known.

Then Dean recalled himself and yanked his head away.

“What the hell are you doing?” Dean demanded.

“I love you,” Cas said. Rather than being pleased, or even surprised, Dean’s expression closed off. “Dean?”

“I know,” Dean said, closing his eyes. “I know, ok?”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Cas asked flatly, eyes narrowed. Dean glared.

“Because you can’t. You’re… I’m just-” Dean dragged a hand over his face. “God damn it, are you really going to make me list all the reasons this would never work?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve been inside me twice now, and I never thought I’d say that,” Dean said. He tapped his temple with one finger. “You can’t tell me you want  _any_  of what’s in here. I’m crap at relationships, I love women, and drinking, and sex, and greasy diner food… do you need me to go on? I’m not… you deserve someone-“

“If you are going to end that sentence with any variation of the word ‘better’, I would stop,” Cas said lowly. Dean’s mouth snapped shut. Cas cupped Dean’s face with both hands, forcing Dean to look him in the eye. “Stop being too noble to allow yourself any happiness. Yes, I’ve seen you. I found you when you were half-smoke, burned by the fires of Perdition and covered in the blood of the souls on your rack.”

Dean flinched, eyes closing, and Cas could feel faint echoes of his pain through their bond.

“I have also seen you risk your life to save a child. I’ve seen you willing to risk divine wrath to save a town. You prevented the Apocalypse and expect no thanks or recognition.” Cas took a deep breath. “There is not a thing I don’t know about you, Dean. And I love you.”

“Cas-” Dean said. Sensing he was about to protest, Cas tilted Dean’s head and kissed him. He let the bond fall open, pushing his emotions across it for Dean to feel.

Dean shuddered, soul eagerly soaking up everything. Cas pressed light, airy kisses to Dean’s face, kissing his cheekbones, the tip of his nose, his closed eyelids, and then, finally, a reverent kiss to Dean’s forehead.

Dean shivered again. The bond was still wide open, Cas pouring all the love and desire he felt into the connection. He could feel Dean’s emotions, the need for this, and for a moment, they just held one another.

Castiel could hear people gathering outside of their room. The sound of shattering glass and screaming had finally drawn attention. He regretfully began tapering off the transmission, bringing them back to full consciousness.

“We should go,” he said. Dean looked at him, still uncertain and somehow lost.

“Cas…”

Cas waited, but Dean didn’t say anything more, and the noises outside were getting louder.

“I will always be here, Dean. In whatever capacity you will have me,” Castiel said. There was nothing left to say on the subject, so Cas brought two fingers to Dean’s forehead. “I’ll bring you to the Impala.”

Dean slapped aside Cas’s hand and seized his coat. Cas had only a heartbeat of time to be confused before Dean pulled him in and kissed him. Cas responded after a moment of shock, joy running thickly through his veins as he slid his hands into Dean’s hair and opened his mouth to allow Dean’s tongue entrance. It was wet and filthy, but the bond between them was pulsing bright and strong, happiness and love creating a feedback loop.

Dean finally pulled away, overwhelmed and pupils wide.

“I want to try,” he blurted out. He cleared his throat and ducked his head. “But I need time.”

“You’ll have it,” Cas promised immediately. Dean grinned wryly at him.

There was a knock on the door, loud and impatient. Dean and Cas both glanced towards it, then at the mess of glass all over the place.

“I’ll take you to Sam now,” Cas said. Dean nodded and Cas lifted his hand.

Between one blink and the next, Dean was moved from the destroyed motel room into the passenger seat of the Impala. Sam jumped when he noticed, the car veering dangerously for a few heart-stopping seconds before Sam managed to straighten it.

“Dude, what the hell?” Sam asked. “What happened?”

“Little problem at the motel, Sammy,” Dean said, pasting on a cheerful smile. “We had to check out early.”

“Hence the Angel Express into the car,” Sam said, sighing and nodding. He glanced in the rearview mirror. “Where’s Cas? Is he all right?”

Dean’s lips were still tingling from that last kiss and in his ears rang Castiel’s final words before he had deposited Dean and his duffle bag full of clothes into the car.

_“I’ll see you in a few days.”_

He could still feel Cas in the back of his head and while it was quite possibly the weirdest thing he had ever felt, it was also the best.

“Yeah. he’s fine. He’s all mojo’d up again and leading his dick brothers away. He’ll call us when it’s safe.”

Dean hoped it wouldn’t be long.

**Author's Note:**

> I may be making this into a 'verse! If I do, I'll be sure to update the information here. ^_^


End file.
